Ladies, let’s talk. If you’ve ever looked across the dinner table at a man-child eating with his hands, or found yourself rewriting your boyfriend’s résumé again while juggling a 9-5, brunch plans, and an existential crisis, this one’s for you.
You’re not Home Depot. You don’t need to take on broken furniture or broken people.
But somehow, fixer projects, both at work and in your love life, keep finding you like glitter finds a freshly mopped floor. It’s cute until it’s everywhere. So let’s put an end to it.
Here are 4 ways to stop attracting fixer projects, because you deserve more than being everyone else’s life coach with no benefits.
1. Stop Confusing Potential with Promise
The Problem:
You meet a guy who “has big dreams” but no plan, no job, and no driver’s license (but lots of theories on crypto). Or you take on a work project that “just needs a little extra love”, and suddenly, you’re managing chaos and crying into your coffee.
The Solution:
Potential is not a plan. If you’re the one doing all the lifting while someone else is just “finding themselves,” you’re not in a relationship, you’re in a mentorship. Evaluate actual behavior, not sweet words or tragic backstories. Just because you can help doesn’t mean you should.
Quick Tip: Ask yourself, “If I did nothing to fix this, would it still get better?” If the answer’s no… you know what to do.
2. Recognize That Being Capable Doesn’t Mean You’re a Containment Unit
The Problem:
At work, you get the “tough” projects because you’re good at handling things. In dating? You get the emotionally unavailable guy who “just needs someone who gets him.” Congrats, you’re now CEO of Emotional Labor Inc.
The Solution:
Start saying “no” with your full chest. Set boundaries before you get pulled into messes that aren’t yours. Just because you can juggle five deadlines and a full-blown identity crisis doesn’t mean you should be handed every lost cause.
Power Move: Practice the phrase “That’s not my responsibility” in the mirror until it feels sexy. Because it is.
3. Drop the ‘Savior Syndrome’, You’re Not His Therapist (Unless You’re Billing Him)
The Problem:
You find yourself playing therapist, life coach, personal chef, and secretary, all while managing your own life like a boss. You’re burning out, and he’s still “trying to figure out what he wants.”
The Solution:
It’s time to ask yourself: Do I want a partner, or a project? A real partnership is mutual, not you fixing someone while they meditate in bed at 2 PM. Encourage professional help. Encourage personal growth. But you? Go pour that energy into yourself.
Sassy Reminder: You can’t build a king out of Legos and delusion.
4. Upgrade Your Standards Like You Upgrade Your Skincare
The Problem:
You’ve normalized accepting crumbs, at work, in love, in life. You think, “If I just give a little more…” But sis, you’ve given enough.
The Solution:
Create a list of non-negotiables, in your job and relationships. Stick to it like it’s your holy grail. When something (or someone) falls short, don’t lower the bar. Raise your standards and trust that the right people will meet them, or get out of your way.
Takeaway Truth: You’re not “too much.” They’re just not enough.
Final Mic Drop:
You don’t need another “fixer-upper.” You need a fully built condo with central air, emotional intelligence, and a 401(k).
So tell me, what’s the last fixer project you walked away from, and how did it feel to finally drop the toolbox?
Spill in the comments. Let’s celebrate boundaries and badbtch energy together.