Let’s be real: You didn’t sign up to be everyone’s emotional support human, office hero, and love life fixer-upper. But somehow… here you are, running on caffeine, low-key resentment, and that one compliment from your boss two months ago.
Sound familiar? Yeah, you might be overgiving. Let’s unpack that, bestie.
1. You’re Saying “Yes” While Screaming “NOOO” Inside
The Problem: Your calendar is booked, your energy is shot, but you still said yes to planning your cousin’s baby shower, covering your coworker’s shift, and making a homemade lasagna for date night.
The Solution: Try this magic phrase: “Let me get back to you.” It buys you time to assess your energy (and sanity) before you commit. Pro tip? Saying “no” to others is saying “yes” to your peace.
Real Talk: You are not flaky for choosing rest. You are not selfish for putting yourself first. You are wise. And lowkey iconic.
2. Your To-Do List Has To-Do Lists
The Problem: You wake up already behind, juggling spreadsheets, Slack messages, and your situationship’s emotional baggage. You give 100% at work, 110% in your relationship, and what’s left for you? A vague headache and that cold coffee you forgot to finish.
The Solution: Implement a sacred 30-minute block just for you every single day. No negotiations. Use it to breathe, journal, scream into the void, whatever you need. Guard it like Beyoncé guards her unreleased tracks.
3. You’re More Available Than Starbucks on Every Corner
The Problem: You reply to texts instantly. You’re the first to jump in when someone’s “having a tough time.” You’re always reachable, always reliable, always exhausted.
The Solution: Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and set some emotional office hours. Not everyone deserves 24/7 access to your time or your heart. This is not a hotline, sis, it’s your life.
4. You Confuse Love With Self-Sacrifice
The Problem: You bend over backwards in relationships, cooking, fixing, compromising, apologizing first, thinking it’ll earn you love or validation.
The Solution: Let’s make this loud for the people in the back: Love that requires self-erasure isn’t love. Ask yourself: “Would I do this for me?” If the answer is no, it’s a no for them, too.
Note to self: You’re a partner, not a martyr. And your needs? They matter.
5. You Feel Resentful, But You Can’t Quite Place Why
The Problem: You snap at the barista, ghost your best friend, and ugly-cry when your partner forgets to ask about your day. Spoiler: It’s not about the coffee.
The Solution: Resentment is often unspoken overgiving. Time to track where you’re saying yes to avoid conflict or gain approval. Then, brace yourself, have the hard convo. The world won’t implode. Promise.
6. You’ve Forgotten What You Even Like Anymore
The Problem: Your life is so wrapped up in work demands, romantic dynamics, and being “the strong one,” that when someone asks what you enjoy… you blank.
The Solution: Reclaim your damn joy. Revisit an old hobby, explore something new, take yourself on a solo date. You are a whole person outside of being useful to others. Go find her again.
Let’s Get Real for a Second…
Overgiving isn’t just tiring, it’s soul-draining. But the good news? You have the power to rewrite the script. Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re bridges back to yourself.
So tell me, what’s one thing you’re going to stop overgiving starting today? Drop it in the comments and let’s hold each other accountable
You deserve a life that feeds you too.