You know that colleague who always seems to have your back? The one who shares office gossip, laughs at your jokes, and nods sympathetically when you vent about your boss? Well, grab your coffee and brace yourself, because that same “friend” might actually be the reason your promotion is slipping through your fingers.
Fake friends at work are like office ninjas, silent but deadly. They smile to your face and stab you in the back (metaphorically, of course… or at least we hope so). The good news? You can spot these phonies before they sabotage your career. Here’s how to decode their sneaky ways and protect yourself from workplace betrayal!
1. They Disappear When You Need Them
You just had a brutal meeting, and you need someone to debrief with. You text your work BFF for an emergency coffee break, and radio silence. But wait, didn’t they just post an Instagram story about their “crazy workday” featuring a caramel macchiato? If your “friend” is only around when it benefits them but vanishes when you need support, you might be dealing with a workplace ghoster.
Red Flag: They’re all in for happy hours but missing when you need help with an urgent project.
2. They Take, Take, and Take Some More
“Hey, can you proofread this for me real quick?” “Mind covering for me during lunch?” “Oh, I accidentally listed myself as the lead on your project! Oops!”
A fake friend at work is a master of the one-sided relationship. They have a Ph.D. in “using you for their own gain” while giving absolutely nothing in return. If they only reach out when they need a favor but conveniently forget to return the kindness, it’s time to reassess the friendship.
Red Flag: Your relationship feels more like an unpaid internship than an actual friendship.
3. They Gossip About Everyone (Including You)
Let’s be real, a little office tea never hurt anyone. But if your “friend” constantly spills everyone’s secrets, what makes you think your secrets are safe? The person who dishes the dirt on others is probably doing the same about you when you’re not around. If their idea of bonding is dragging colleagues through the mud, chances are you’re just another name on their hit list.
Red Flag: They tell you private details about other coworkers, guess what? They’re doing the same about you.
4. They Give You Backhanded Compliments
“Wow, I could never pull off that bold outfit like you! You’re so brave!” “Oh, you actually got recognized in the meeting? That’s so unexpected!”
These sneaky insults wrapped in compliments are the hallmark of a fake friend. If your work BFF leaves you feeling worse after a “nice” comment, it’s time to side-eye their intentions.
Red Flag: Their compliments feel more like a slap than a boost.
5. They Throw You Under the Bus Faster Than a Missed Deadline
You made a tiny mistake in a report, and suddenly, your “friend” is in the boss’s office making sure everyone knows it was your fault. Fake work friends are experts at self-preservation. When things go south, they won’t hesitate to push you off the metaphorical office cliff to save their own skin. If they never take responsibility but always shift blame, watch out!
Red Flag: They act like your cheerleader in private but turn into a prosecutor in front of the boss.
6. They’re Weirdly Competitive With You
Got a compliment from your manager? They suddenly need to one-up you with an even bigger achievement. Mention your idea in a meeting? They immediately jump in and claim it as their own. A real work friend celebrates your success, while a fake one sees it as a threat. If every interaction feels like a competition, you’re not dealing with a friend, you’re dealing with an office frenemy.
Red Flag: Their energy shifts whenever you succeed, and it feels personal.
So, What Now?
If you’re nodding along and realizing your “work bestie” is actually your biggest workplace threat, don’t panic. The key is setting boundaries and keeping your professional guard up.
- Limit how much personal info you share.
- Stay neutral in office drama.
- Keep receipts (aka emails) of important conversations.
- Surround yourself with real colleagues who uplift you.
Now tell me, have you ever dealt with a fake friend at work? Spill your story in the comments! Let’s expose those office phonies together.