Let’s be real, work would be a dream if it weren’t for that one person who makes everything just a little harder. You know the type: the coworker who sweetly says, “Oh, I didn’t realize you wanted credit for that project,” or leaves you out of emails by accident for the third time this week. Welcome to the world of passive-aggressive coworkers, a land filled with backhanded compliments, fake smiles, and emails that end in “Per my last email…”
But fear not, queen! You can survive and thrive without letting them drain your energy. Here’s how to deal with these workplace energy vampires like a total boss.
1. Recognize the Game (But Don’t Play It)
Passive-aggressive people thrive on subtle digs and silent wars. The first rule? Don’t engage. If they send you a snarky email, resist the urge to reply with a full-blown dissertation. Keep it professional, short, and emotionless, like a CEO shutting down nonsense in a boardroom.
2. Call It Out (With a Smile)
If someone says, “Wow, you’re really lucky to have landed that project,” give them your best I-see-you grin and say, “I wouldn’t call it luck, I worked really hard for this!” Sometimes, exposing the passive aggression in the moment makes them think twice about trying it again.
3. Master the Art of the Neutral Face
Nothing frustrates a passive-aggressive person more than being ignored. Perfect your poker face. When they drop their latest sarcastic comment, just smile, nod, and move on. No reaction? No satisfaction for them.
4. Keep Receipts Like a Detective
“Oh, I totally told you about that deadline.” Did you, Karen? Keep an email trail, screenshot your chats, and document everything. The next time they try to gaslight you, forward them their own words. Justice served.
5. Use the Magic of Clarification
One of the best ways to deal with vague, snarky comments is to ask questions, lots of them. If they say, “Well, some people prefer to do things last minute,” respond with, “Oh? Who do you mean by ‘some people’?” Watch them squirm.
6. Set Clear Boundaries (Like a Boss)
If they consistently overstep, politely but firmly lay down the law. “Hey, I noticed you’ve been making changes to my reports without letting me know. Going forward, can we make sure we discuss edits first?” Short. Direct. Unapologetic.
7. Beat Them with Over-the-Top Kindness
This one is gold. If they send a snippy email, respond with so much sweetness it confuses them. “Thank you SO much for your feedback, I really appreciate your input!” Kill ‘em with kindness, it’s both satisfying and hilarious.
8. Pull in a Third Party (When Necessary)
If the passive-aggressive behavior starts affecting your work, it’s time to escalate. Loop in a manager, HR, or a neutral coworker. A simple, “I want to make sure we’re all aligned on this,” can work wonders.
9. Know When to Walk Away
Sometimes, the best strategy is simply to disengage. If you’ve tried everything and they’re still determined to be petty, let it roll off your back. You have bigger things to conquer than office drama.
Final Thought: Are You the Passive-Aggressive One?
Before you go, take a second to reflect: Have you ever sent a per my last email out of frustration? We’ve all been there. But now you know how not to be that person.
Got a horror story about a passive-aggressive coworker? Drop it in the comments! Let’s share the struggle, and the laughs.