Imagine this: You walk into work, ready to tackle the day. But by noon, you’re questioning whether you even understand how email works. Why? Because your boss just spent the last hour convincing you that you sent an email that never existed. Welcome to Gaslight HQ, where your sanity is the price of admission.
If you constantly feel like you’re losing your mind at work, your boss might be gaslighting you. Let’s break it down:
1. They Make You Doubt Your Memory
Your boss swears they told you about that 8 a.m. meeting, but you have zero recollection of it. They insist you were informed. Maybe even sent an email. But… was there ever an email? (Spoiler: No.)
How to Fight Back: Keep a paper trail. Forward emails to yourself, take notes, and if necessary, start recording important conversations (check your state laws first!).
2. They Change Stories Like an Amateur Magician
Last week, they praised your work. Today, they’re saying your project was never up to standard. Did you hallucinate that compliment? Nope. They just like to keep you confused.
How to Fight Back: Screenshot everything. Keep records of past conversations so you can call them out when they contradict themselves.
3. They Downplay Your Achievements
You crushed that presentation, but somehow, your boss makes it seem like it was barely passable. They credit the team, luck, or even the weather, anything but you.
How to Fight Back: Own your wins. Keep track of your successes in a “brag folder” and bring them up when negotiating raises or promotions.
4. They Blame You for Their Mistakes
Your boss forgets to submit a report? Suddenly, it was your responsibility all along. If they could, they’d blame you for climate change.
How to Fight Back: When tasks are assigned, confirm responsibilities via email. That way, you have receipts when the blame game starts.
5. They Pit You Against Your Colleagues
They tell you Susan is struggling, but then tell Susan you are struggling. Congratulations, your boss is now the villain in a corporate reality show.
How to Fight Back: Build solid relationships with coworkers. Compare notes and see if your boss is feeding you different stories.
6. They Constantly Shift the Goalposts
At first, your project just needed to be “good.” Then it needed to be “perfect.” Now, it requires a miracle. No matter what you do, it’s never quite enough.
How to Fight Back: Get clear expectations in writing. If they move the goalposts, reference previous conversations.
7. They Act Like You’re Overreacting
You express frustration about a valid issue. They roll their eyes and say, “You’re being dramatic.” Suddenly, you’re the “emotional” one.
How to Fight Back: Stay calm, but firm. If they dismiss your concerns, document the conversation and escalate if necessary.
8. They Isolate You
Your boss conveniently leaves you out of meetings, emails, and major decisions. Then, they make you feel like you’re the problem for not being “in the loop.”
How to Fight Back: Proactively seek information. If you’re excluded, ask why and request to be included moving forward.
9. They Make You Feel Incompetent
No matter what you do, they imply you’re not quite “there” yet. You start doubting your skills, even though you were confident before this job.
How to Fight Back: Remind yourself of your strengths. Keep positive feedback from previous bosses or clients as proof of your competence.
What Now? Take Back Your Power
If any of these sound familiar, congratulations, you’re working for a corporate gaslighter. The good news? You’re not crazy. They’re just manipulative.
Here’s how to reclaim your sanity:
- Document EVERYTHING – Emails, meetings, casual conversations. Keep that evidence safe.
- Set Boundaries – Push back when they try to rewrite reality.
- Seek Allies – Talk to trusted coworkers and compare experiences.
- Consider an Exit Plan – If it gets toxic, start looking for better opportunities.
Have you ever dealt with a gaslighting boss? Share your survival tips in the comments!