You’re running on caffeine, confidence, and calendar alerts, but somehow still finding time to scroll through Hinge between Zoom meetings and your third iced coffee. And what do you get in return for your effort? A “hey” from a guy whose best photo is…a fish. Babe, no. You deserve better. And it all starts with your first message.
Let’s be real, your time is precious, and your inbox deserves better than crickets. So here are 5 first messages that actually get replies, because you’re not just dating, you’re curating your love life like the boss you are.
1. The Compliment-But-Make-It-Not-Boring Opener
The Problem: You want to break the ice, but “You have a nice smile” feels like a LinkedIn endorsement.
The Fix: Add a twist to your compliment. Something that shows you’ve actually read their profile and have a personality.
Try This:
“Okay, your dog is adorable, but let’s be honest, who really runs the house?”
Why it works: You’re funny, observant, and low-key challenging them to banter. Plus, you’re showing genuine interest without sounding thirsty. Gold.
2. The This-or-That Trap (a.k.a. low-key personality test)
The Problem: You keep getting one-word replies…if anything at all.
The Fix: Ask a question that’s impossible to answer with just “lol.”
Try This:
“Quick, vacay on a mountain or toes in the sand? And no, you can’t say both. Choose your fighter.”
Why it works: It sparks an instant vibe check. Plus, it gives you clues about whether they’re into hot tubs or hiking boots.
3. The “I’m Not Like the Other Girls” Bold Intro
The Problem: You’re fading into a sea of “heyyyy 🙂” and “what’s up?” messages.
The Fix: Shake things up with a bold opener that screams confidence and leaves them intrigued.
Try This:
“I once closed a million-dollar deal on three hours of sleep and a single espresso. So tell me, what’s your flex?”
Why it works: You’re leading with power and inviting them to match your energy. You’re not just looking for cute, you’re looking for compatible.
4. The “We Already Have a Story” Scenario
The Problem: You’re not vibing because every convo starts from scratch.
The Fix: Create a fake scenario you both can play along with, think improv, but make it flirty.
Try This:
“So, our friends set us up and we’re meeting for drinks. You’re late. What’s your excuse, and does it come with fries?”
Why it works: It sets the stage for humor, imagination, and instant chemistry. Plus, you’ll know fast if they can keep up.
5. The Vulnerable-But-Not-TMI Question
The Problem: You’re tired of surface-level convos that go nowhere.
The Fix: Ask a question that hits just deep enough to matter, but still fun.
Try This:
“What’s something random that makes you feel like a kid again?”
Why it works: You’re signaling emotional maturity without going full therapy session. It opens a door without pushing them through it.
Final Thought:
You’ve got meetings to lead, goals to crush, and dreams that don’t clock out at 5 PM. Your love life? It should be just as intentional. So the next time you send a first message, ask yourself:
Is this a scroll-stopper or just more noise?
Because queen, you’re not here for lukewarm connections, you’re here to light something up.
Now spill, what’s the first message you’ve sent that actually worked? Drop it in the comments and let’s make inbox magic happen.